The Cat's Meow
by Assassin-G
Summary: Sousuke gets a cat, which drastically changes the Full Metal Panic! storyline. R
1. Ch 1

**Prologue **

The furry critter just showed up one day. As unlikely as it may sound, I must have left my door unlocked before I went to Jindai High because when I came back, the door was ajar. Initially, I postulated the prospect of a thief, so I kept my Glock 17 held firmly in one hand. Using my other, I gently pushed the door open and peered into the room. It was exactly the way I left it…except for the presence of a bundle of fur on my compact bed. Feeling a great relief overcome me, I closed the door as softly as I could muster. From what I could discern, it was just another stray, an animal that had outgrown its adorable appearance and thrown onto the streets.

I didn't want to frighten the poor creature; back when I was in Afghanistan, there had been many animals not like the one I see before me. They could usually be found near alleys or nearby dumpsters ravaging for food. I used to befriend them, seeing as I had no friends or family. Somehow, I felt a kinship with the strays and the creature that I see before me reminded me of my childhood.

I slowly lowered my weapons bag but as soon as I set it down, the cat sprang to it feet. It must've been on its own for a long time, I concluded as he noticed its tattered tail and many bodily scars. There was a spot near its hind leg where the fur didn't grow anymore.

My eyes were transfixed on the cat. It crouched down, as if ready to bolt to the open door the first chance it gets, when I got closer and extended my hand. I stopped, my hand merely an inch to the cat. It would be ill advised to assume that it has had all its shots, and the remedy that ails a rabies-infected human is less than inviting.

The cat advanced slowly, its eyes fixed onto my own. I held my breath, doing everything in my power to desist blinking, which made my eyes feel chapped. Then, as vigilant as can be, it sniffed my outstretched hand, later licking my index finger. I allowed my hand to explore the vast regions of the feline's pelt. Soon, I found myself focusing my attention entirely on the cat.

Then out of the blue, the telephone rang. The cat must've been startled by it as it jumped off the bed and scurried to the first place it thought it could conceal itself: under a pile of my tarnished uniform.

I answered the phone. It was Kaname, and she was utterly upset about something. She couldn't describe the situation that had gotten her distressed, and so I took it as my cue to go over to her place to neutralize the situation.

The cat eyed me all the way to the door and let out a soft meow.

I raced across the street, climbed four sets of stairs, and found myself in front of Kaname's door within three minutes. Slightly panting, I knocked on the door. When I heard no reply, my worst fears got the better of me. I soon found myself kicking the chest wood door off its hinges. Brandishing my Glock 17, I scrambled into the usually neat apartment of Kaname Chidori.

I scanned the kitchen, noticing the waxy clean textile immediately. She must have mopped the marble since the chili-bean-in-a-can incident two days before. Kaname had requested for my assistance in the kitchen, and since I had little prior culinary expertise, she instructed me to unbolt a few cans of chili. After receiving a lesson on how to operate a can opener, I soon found myself deeply immersed in the task. As soon as I left my guard down, I heard a constant ticking near the bowl of chili, confirming my worst fear.

_Somebody had sent Chidori a bomb package!_

Quickly, I sprang into action. I notified Kaname of the situation, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her out of hazard's way. Unfortunately, I was the one in danger as I felt the stinging smack of her paper fan. On my way down to the ground, a grenade escaped from under my sleeve. It was a new method that I was testing in the field; the pin of the grenade would be pulled as soon as it came out of my sleeve. And unfortunately, the miniature explosive found itself in the bowl of chili lover's chili. The bowl exploded, covering Chidori, myself, and every inch of the kitchen with chili.

The event that followed still remains a mystery to me. I found myself regaining consciousness on the sidewalk near my apartment, my weapons bag not far away. It must be her time of the month, I surmised as I picked up the bag and headed up to my domicile. Although my job entails less exposure to the opposite gender, Sgt. Major Mao had once given me a lecture about the female psyche and about the one week in every month that keeping Weber out of her sight would be in the best interest of the De Danaan. Kurtz, who was eavesdropping on our conversation, dropped by and asked Melissa about giving a lecture on the female physique and requested that a visual demonstration be in order. I had to physically hold her back from shoving Kurtz into a torpedo chamber and using him as a torpedo for target practice.

Seeing that the kitchen was empty, I proceeded onto the bedroom. I stopped dead in my tracks in front of the closed door and stared apprehensively at the doorknob. Dubiously, I laid my hand upon the handle.

"SOUSUKE!" screeched Kaname. I let go of the door handle immediately as if it were wired up to a shock box. Dutifully, I turned my head toward the other end of the small hallway. Chidori had just gotten out of the shower and was clad in only a short white towel.

"K-Kaname. I was just, uh, evaluating the situation. What is the problem?"

"You! Why cant you just act normal and wait in the living room?"

"But Kaname—"

"Did I give you permission to speak, soldier?"

"Sir, no, sir!"

"Then BE QUIET! I will brief you on what I want done after I cook up something to eat."

I nodded knowingly. "Do you need any help?"

That was not the smartest thing to say…

After Kaname finished her meal, or rather, I finally got my nose to desist from bleeding, we headed out to the park. I was still a bit perplexed as to what Chidori wanted me to do.

"My father's coming to visit today. He told me to meet him at the park, near the pond." She paused momentarily, her cheeks turning scarlet. My first initial reaction was to ask if she needed her circulatory system checked, but I learn from my mistakes. "I want you to act normal for a day. I wan to you to act like my boyfriend."

My whole body tensed up at the nature of her request. An immense amount of blood was flowing to my head as I found myself blushing. Moments later the palms of my hands were damp. I began to perspire profusely, making my clothes stick on my skin. It was a really foreign reaction that I was not accustomed with.

"Sousuke? Do you feel like you are not able to fulfill my demand?" The look on her face was just daring me to contradict her.

I shook my head. "I will do the best I can for you, Kaname."

Kaname blushed and looked away sheepishly. "Thank you, Sousuke."

"It's not a problem."

After walking a ways, I spotted a middle-aged man sitting alone on the bench adjacent to the pond. He was wearing sunglasses, a large coat, and a hat, obviously dressing incognito. He had a cigar between his lips, a good touch.

I apprised Kaname of her father's presence. She nodded and, clinging onto my arm, dragged me toward her father. Before we were within conversation distance from Mr. Chidori, Kaname pulled me to her level and whispered in my ear:

"Please, Sousuke, don't mess this up…"

to be continued….

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	2. Ch 2

**Introductions**

Sousuke was lying on his bed, an Algebra book set upon his stomach. He couldn't concentrate on the task ahead, the literally mountain of homework from school. The amount of homework must have accumulated after all the school days he had missed when he was on missions for Mithril. It would be impossible for him to meet the goal within the time allotted. It was a good thing that Kaname had offered to help him in understanding Japanese History, his worst subject.

The cat was close by curled up next to him, bringing a feeling of great warmth upon his body. He appreciated the cat's presence and reached out to pet her every once in a while. He decided that it was a she because, well, he had tried to check which gender it was and, uh, it definitely did NOT have the "equipment" fitted for a male. It could've been the result of a trip to the veterinarian, but Sousuke preferred to think of her as a she.

And since he had decided to allow her to live here, Sousuke made a list of supplies that were essential if the cat was to stay. And since Sousuke had seen how jumpy she was, he disabled the fire alarm, doorbell, and phone, anything that would alarm her. He also had to remove the spare key that he hid underneath his apartment room number plate. Sousuke didn't want to scare the cat away so he pulled down the shades and placed a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on his doorknob.

"Sousuke old chum, you in there?" He heard the voice of his German counterpart through the door.

"I request to be alone for a while." He was pretty sure Melissa would leave him alone, but Kurtz Weber would definitely think something out of it. That was why Sousuke booby-trapped the door handle to give any unwanted visitors a shock. And as the blonde AS pilot, interest piqued by the 'Do Not Disturb' sign, reached for the doorknob, recoiled and jumped slightly. His usually wavy hair had turned into a semi-afro.

"Weber, you are absolutely retarded. Leave Sousuke alone, he's probably busy." Melissa popped open a can of her favorite beer and glared at Kurtz.

"Yeah, with Kaname Chidori! C'mon, Sis. You always take Sousuke's side. Don't you want to bust his ass?"

"Weber, if you don't shut the hell up, I'll be busting your ass."

"Babe, I think you got the concept all wrong!"

The last thing Sousuke heard after the lascivious remark was a yelp of pain from Kurtz.

A couple awkward minutes dragged by before Sousuke heard Kurtz knocking on the door.

"Yo Sousuke!"

Sousuke sighed. "Weber?"

"Yeah, lemme come in."

"Negative, I will be right out."

Kurtz heard the sound of shuffling feet. He heard Sousuke unlock the door. The fact that he had a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on his doorknob convinced Kurtz that Sousuke was doing something that he normally wouldn't do, namely having a female in his apartment. He knew that Sousuke didn't want a repeat with Kaname Chidori walking in on him when Tessa was showering at his apartment. The incident had turned out to be quite popular to Mithril operatives onboard the Teletha De Daanan.

"Sousuke, old chum. You have a girl in there or what?"

Sousuke couldn't disregard the cat as an inanimate object. "Affirmative."

The look on Kurtz Weber's face was priceless. Melissa Mao, who was standing nearby, wore an expression that was equivalent to Kurt's.

"Sousuke! I never knew you had it in you. I—" He was interrupted by Melissa's stern look. His face fell. "But Sis! I want to know, don't you?"

"Weber, if I have to repeat myself one last time I'm putting you on double duty. And don't think that I'm shitting you." She turned to Sousuke and winked. "Get her, tiger. That's an order."

Kurtz looked gloomily at Sousuke. "I want all the details later. Don't leave anything out," he muttered under his breath before taking off.

Sousuke looked puzzled as to his teammates' reaction. _Had they never seen a cat before?_

* * *

Kaname got home after her student council meeting ended. She couldn't help but smile. Even though Sousuke had turned the school into a virtual warzone, she found it in her heart to forgive him. How could she not, after things had gone so well with her father? He actually liked Sousuke and his militaristic ways. She placed her backpack next to her desk and went to take a shower, as she usually did after baseball or one of her student council meetings. When she stepped out of the shower and put some clothes on, something told her to check on Sousuke. She went out to her balcony to see what her otaku was up to, but the curtains were pulled down.

She frowned. It wasn't at all like Sousuke to mask his actions. Sometimes she wishes he would do his otaku stunts when she wasn't looking. Saves so much irritation, grief, and swinging of the paper fan. She could've sworn that her right arm looks bigger than her left.

Another possibility dawned upon the blue-haired girl. Her face fell, eyes dilated in horror. _'Maybe TESSA was over at Sousuke's place. Cant really put it past that tramp to do something like this. Maybe SHE suggested closing the curtains. Sousuke wouldn't see the harm in that, as clueless as he is…'_

"Pick up, big idiot," she growled under her breath, the cell in her grasp shaking in anger. When on the third ring and nobody picked up, Kaname set down her cellphone in a fidgety way.

"Okay, Kaname, calm down," she said to herself in a forced calm voice. "I'll just go check on him. If a special someone happens to be there—"

She stopped in midsentence. She couldn't bring herself into believing that Sousuke would fall for that. He was dense, of course, but nobody can be that dumb…

Before leaving for the door, she reached for her paper fan. '_Just in case…'_

* * *

Sousuke was halfway through feeding his cat when somebody outside starting knocking on the door. Immediately the cat ran for cover, this time underneath his bed. Sousuke went over and peered through the peephole.

"Kaname?" he said to himself, nonplussed as to why the girl would come in such short notice. It was Kaname after all, he argued, and sometimes her actions are rather rash and extemporaneous.

Sousuke opened the door just enough for him to slip out but Kaname, who pushed the door wider and threw him off guard, had other plans.

"K-Kaname, what an, uh, unexpected surprise. What are you doing here?" The look on her face would've scared a rabid rottweiler into hiding. Sousuke, at a lost of options, looked back at Kaname perplexed.

"Well, Sousuke, I was just wondering if you wouldn't mind if I hang out here?" She smiled sweetly, but her eyes told Sousuke she was close to exploding.

"Uh…sure, it's not a problem. May I ask you to keep your voice down?"

"Sure, Sousuke! BUT MAY I ASK WHY?!!" She raised her voice about two decibels beyond any known level. Cement dust fell from the ceiling, practically dousing the room.

"Umm…"

"Umm WHAT?!"

"Kaname…you are going to scare her…"

Kaname's face fell instantly. "Her? TESSA?!?! WHERE IS SHE?!!?"

Sousuke gave her a puzzled look as he knelt down and extracted the petrified cat. "Um, no, Kaname. Not Captain Testarossa. Her."

to be continued…

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	3. Ch 3

**The Name**

Kaname stared at Sousuke with a look of disbelief.

"Sousuke, what is…" her voice trailed off. Her eyes were still dead set on the furry animal Sousuke was holding.

"Kaname, this is a cat, otherwise known as _felidae domesticus._ The family Felidae belongs within the order Carnivora, a diverse group of meat-eating mammals. Armed with razor-sharp claws and teeth, they are superbly adapted for a life of hunting. Notice the strong limbs cats have. They utilize their strong hind legs to leap on their prey. For more information concerning this topic, I strongly advise you to visit a library nearest you."

A vein popped in the irate Kaname's temple.

"I WASN'T ASKING FOR A LECTURE ON FELINES!"

"But Kaname, I thought—"

Sousuke was cut off by the stinging smack from the unforgiving halisen. To Kaname, beating the otaku to an inch of his life was considered mundane and uneventful. It was unfortunate that Sousuke was low on his supply of bandages. After executing her deed, Kaname went downstairs to a nearby convenient store to buy some bandage wraps.

She found herself at the register with four rolls of heavy-duty industry-sized bandage wraps. When the cashier asked why she needed that much bandage, she gave the female employee a smile.

The female cashier understood the tacit response. She laughed, "Poor guy. Go easy on him."

Kaname left the store smiling. Then, realizing that Sousuke had a cat in his possession, she rounded back to the convenient store for a bag of cat food.

_'Sousuke would probably feed the poor thing his disgusting protein bars or his army issue rations,' _she thought. She had a lot on her plate, and the last thing she needed was to give a lecture to animal cruelty activists on the train of thought of a crazed militaristic otaku. '_Nobody in their right mind would eat that if given the chance not to. Well, except Sousuke.'_

Upon returning to Sousuke's apartment, Kaname found her bodyguard sitting cross-legged on the floor, the cat in his lap. It was ironic how similar the two looked when juxtaposed. Kaname found it rather overwhelming for Sousuke to have found a kindred individual not unlike himself.

Sousuke acknowledged Kaname's presence by placing the cat gently on an armchair and getting up to his feet.

"Here. I brought you some bandages."

"Kaname...I believe one roll is sufficient for the measure of my ailment."

Nevertheless, he took the other three rolls and stacked them into a cabinet. Only a fool would go unprepared, and Sousuke was no fool. He was a specialist.

Kaname walked over and took a seat on a stool. Noticing a piece of paper on the countertop, Kaname picked it up to see what it was.

Her first assumption was that it was a list of gun makes that Sousuke preferred. The second, which, at the time seemed credible, was that it was a love note from Tessa. If be that case, Kaname would be visiting the Teletha De Daanan sooner than Tessa would have expected.

To her surprise, it was a list of what the cat would need. It was totally unlike him to be so emotionally considerate of something due to his harsh upbringing. At first she thought either Kurtz or Mao wrote it, but it was written in Sousuke's handwriting and the list was devoid of canned crab, beer, names of modeling agencies, and the like.

"Kaname? May I ask why you are reading my grocery list?"

Kaname frowned. _'Sousuke? Groceries? Who is this guy and what has he done with Sousuke?'_

"Kaname? You have not answered my inquiry. Are you feeling all right? You have been looking rather bloated than usual. You should consider following my regimen."

_'Nope, definitely Sousuke...'_

"Sousuke you IDIOT!!"

Kaname's hand had already found the halisen on the countertop upon hearing the word 'bloated'. She was well prepared.

Again came the halisen.

Sousuke ducked and reached for his cat that was rubbing herself on his leg.

The halisen missed its intended target by a mere millimeter. And because the initial force of the halisen did not reach its target, Kaname soon found herself plummeting to the floor.

Sousuke gave her a weird look.

"Kaname, it is ill-advised to rest on the ground. If you are so tired, you should have said something. My cot is always welcome for you to use."

Kaname was too out of it to respond or even pick up something solid to throw at Sousuke. She sat down on the couch in the living room to calm her shocked nerves. The cat followed right behind her heels, and Sousuke after her. She looked at Kaname with adorable eyes and meow-ed softly. Sousuke let out a rare smile.

"Kaname, I believe Cat has taken a liking in you!"

Kaname chuckled softly and stroked Cat's head at a slow tempo. She reached behind her ears and immediately found Cat's favorite spot to be scratched. Sousuke stood on guard with his legs slightly apart and his hands together behind his back. Kaname inspected the piece of leather strap around the cat's neck. Inscribed on it were the letters "C,A,T". It was obvious Sousuke carved in the letters with his field knife.

Kaname frowned. "Sousuke, why is it's name Cat?"

"Cat is a more conventional name," Sousuke said simply. "Actually I named it Cat for your sake Kaname."

"Oh, do go on..." Her hand was tightly clutched to a sofa cushion. She knew rather well what the clueless otaku's response would be.

"You have a lot to accomplish. You hold an important role as class representative, and you are the vice president of the student council. Not to mention you expend many after school hours playing baseball. Somehow, you make time to finish your homework AND review class notes. I myself have struggled in Japanese History, whereas you exceeded my abilities in that course. Studies conducted by Tokyo University show that individuals who are active physically and intellectually are prone to take for granted the infinitesimal details in their lives. I hope you do not take my words personally and strike me with the device in your hand."

Kaname couldn't help but smile at him. "Sousuke, that is really sweet."

"Sweet? What is? I do not believe that you have consumed a saccharine substance..."

Kaname stiffened and had a strong desire to drive the cushion into the unsuspecting Sousuke's face but resisted. Besides, he was just acting like the dense otaku that he was. There was no crime in that. The mayor had vetoed her proposal for making it so.

"But Sousuke, a name is not for convenience," said Kaname. "A name is given for identification."

"Identification?" Sousuke was starting to understand. His code name was Urzu 7, but his teammates dubbed him "Sousuky."

"You should name your pet according to what you believe fits her the best, most appropriate."

"Kaname..." Sousuke looked at her for help. "I don't know where to begin."

Kaname breathed in lightly. Sousuke was senseless in everyday issues, and it was her obligation to teach him.

"Okay, just think about the people you care about the most. Then try using their names to call your cat. You will know when you have the appropriate name to call her. Remember: the key is to let it come naturally. Just relax."

Sousuke closed his eyes. At first, his mind was pitch black. _'I must not disappoint Miss Chidori. Think, Sousuke, think!'_ The first person that came to mind was Lieutenant Commander Kalinin, the first person who saw him not as a weapon from God, but a human being. And although it would be paying homage to his mentor, Sousuke just couldn't see himself calling the cat Kalinin. The young soldier thought harder.He thought of his teammates, Kurtz and Melissa. Although he'd only known them for a year's time, he felt a strong kinship among the two alcohol enthusiasts. But still it did not fit. Sousuke felt it was unfair for his cat to be characterized as scandalous. He dug a little bit deeper into his memory. Of course there was Captain Testarossa. It seemed logical to name his cat after someone who was gentle and caring. However, Cat liked to run around and Tessa was pretty clumsy in her step so that option went out the window.

Kaname looked at Sousuke intently. She could tell that he was trying very hard judging by the several creases on his forehead.

In Sousuke's mind, there was only one option left: Kaname. He opened one eye slowly and noticed the blue-haired girl look intently at him. He closed his open eye quickly in fear of invoking the rage of Armageddon. Yes, it seemed logical. Like Kaname, Cat was athletic and liked to scratch his furniture. Cat has had a few fits with him just like Kaname does on a regular basis.

Sousuke opened his eyes and looked at Kaname.

"I have acquired a suitable name."

"Is it the name of somebody you care a lot about, above all others? Especially above any white-haired, clumsy, even tramp-like individuals?"

"Uhhh...Affirmative."

"Then tell me. What is your cat's name?"

Kaname gazed expectantly into Sousuke's eyes. Her face was about an inch from his. Sousuke immediately began to perspire heavily.

"Uhhh....."

"Yes?" Kaname asked lightly.

"Uhhh....."

"Yes? The name?"

"Uhhh....."

"SOUSUKE!!"

"Tessa!"

Kaname's face dropped. "Tessa...? Tessa? TESSA?!?!"

"Negative, Kalinin!"

Kaname bowed her head so that her hair covered her face from view.

"I am mistaken, Melissa."

Kaname's hand soon found its way to the sofa cushion.

Sousuke cursed himself for scrubbing up on the names.

"I've got it!" His mind went blank once again. "Umm.....Kurtz?"

The blow came swiftly. The unforgiving force from his own cushion came from above. Sousuke fell limp the second the attack connected. How could he have forgotten that he stashed a Beretta in the pillow?

"Hmmmph!" Kaname headed for the door.

Miraculously, Sousuke regained conscience.

"Wait! Her name's Chidori!"

* * *

Captain Tessa Testarossa let out a frustrated sigh.

The meeting with the other high rank Mithril officers had not gone as smooth as she anticipated.

Due to numerous calamities caused by Sousuke Sagara and the tally work in part of the Financial Department, she found herself in the spotlight for the first time in her career. For once, she could not think of a solution to the problem, not even hypothesize a resolution for the cataclysmic debt that her branch was in. And because of her incapability to resolve her problem, correspondents from mainstream Mithril gave her an ultimatum: temporarily disband Sousuke until further assessments showed that he was a competent operative.

Sousuke was a valuable asset to the Urz team, no doubt about that, but the Higher Command left her with no choice.

Sgt. Major Mao did not take the news well. Not only did she lose command of a textbook perfect soldier, but she would also be receiving a replacement member that she loathed. Sousuke's replacement, Sgt. Sadarth, was of African descent and the antithesis of his precedent. Sadarth, like Mao, was dishonorably discharged by the U.S. Marine Corp. due to a fatal mistake on the field that took two of his men's lives. He was made a standby backup ever since the incident.

Kurtz, for once, understood the tension between Mao and Tessa. For the most part, he kept his rowdy compliments about Melissa's physique to himself. He was also concerned about the future of his team. During the time Sousuke was to be suspended, terrorist activities will more than likely skyrocket. Sadarth had not been field tested as of late.

But it was not up to Tessa to re-evaluate the competence of the Urzu team without Sousuke.

Fate had dealt her the cards, and she just happened to have a bad hand.

Good luck was bound to come her way right?

to be continued...

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	4. Ch 4

**Breaking The News**

On Saturday morning, Kaname went over to Sousuke's apartment. She wanted to make certain Sousuke doesn't blow the cat up, and being the responsible individual that she was, had taken time out of her precious weekend just to do so. She hadn't been in the apartment since the "naming the cat" incident. She was sure Sousuke had enough time to recuperate from the injury she'd given him. After all, he DID have an unusually thick skull.

As she approached his apartment, Kaname could hear an altercation going on. The door was slightly ajar and there were three people in the room. Melissa was on her feet, her cheeks flushed from yelling. Sousuke was also up, staring daggers at his superior. Kurtz lay on the sofa with his hands on the back of his head and his eyes closed. His eyebrows were furrowed due to the ongoing verbal battle his alcohol-and-canned-crab crazed Sergeant Major and his dense comrade was having.

Kaname poked her head through the small opening. The cat took one glance at her and immediately went over. Her body was shaking in trepidation, hair standing on end. Most felines have acute sense of hearing, and with the intensity of the battle taking place, it was understandable why Chidori the Cat was acting the way she was.

Feeling its hardship, Kaname picked Chidori up and held her in her arms. Chidori, taking comfort in her partial owner's arms, buried her head in Kaname's chest to dull the cacophonous noise she was picking up.

"How can this happen to me?"

Sousuke was on the verge of imploding his face was so red.

"Look, soldier. It is out of my hands. MITHRIL's had it with your shit. Either shape up or ship out."

Mao's face was a light shade of pink in contrast to Sousuke's, which was nearing magenta.

The former Navy SEAL reached for the stash of weapons underneath the floorboard. Sousuke retreated from the room, thinking it'd be better if he did not have to see his weapons being confiscated. After the sweep, Mao followed him into the kitchen. Sousuke glared at her.

"What," he spat, his tone uncharacteristically venomous. "What the hell do you want now?"

"Your sidearm, Sergeant. I cannot leave without sequestering all MITHRIL issued equipment."

Sousuke upholstered his Glock 17, patting it as if it were his favorite pet. He admired the fine handiwork of the piece, proud of the shine the stainless steel produced due to countless hours of meticulous polishing and cleaning. His hands trembled slightly from the Glock 17. It was not heavy, coming in at around five pounds, but the tremendous sense of prowess Sousuke felt every time he held the gun makes him quaver. Sousuke shot a glance at the Sergeant Major. "I request a few moments alone," he said softly.

Melissa Mao placed both hands on her hip and gave him a frustrated look. "Are you shittin' me? Damnit, Sergeant. It's only a sidearm." But she left nevertheless.

When the Sgt. Major returned to the living room, Kurtz got up from his supine position and walked over to double check on his list of equipments needed to be retained. He sat cross-legged as he fumbled with equipment used to translate coded signals. The functions were highly complex and unlike most electronic devices, turning it off was not the push of a button away.

"Geez, Weber. It's not that hard to turn that damn thing off!"

Kurtz cursed under his breath as the password he punched in was denied. The plus side of the extra security purpose is that the code is a twelve number combination, and the chances of entering the correct secret code is one in ten million.

"This is bullshit. How can anyone get this right?"

Just then the kitchen screen door opened and Sousuke entered the room. He extended his arm and handed over his Glock 17. The look on his face was one of grim determination, but it was obvious that he was masking his true emotions. Anyone in the room, Kaname included, knew that for Sousuke, capitulating ownership of his favorite gun was like a child giving up his favorite toy.

"Sousuke." Kurtz motioned him toward his direction. "Would you mind?" He pointed at the equipment.

Sousuke knelt down and studied the device studiously. "The encrypted code follows a particular sequence. The first number would be one, the second precedent multiplied by thrice minus half of the former, and so on." He followed the sequence and the audible 'beep' stopped right after the last number.

Melissa got up to her feet. "Thank you, Sousuke." The tone in her voice gave away a hint of sorrow seeing as her teammate was now strictly considered a civilian, the one behind the wheels of a compact car instead of a tank. After collecting the items on her checklist, she headed toward the door and consequently ran into Kaname. The two squared off in a staring contest, Kaname winning when Kurtz came into view and placed a hand someplace the Sgt. Major did NOT appreciate. The young blonde soon found himself flying into the wall at the other end of the corridor. Luckily, none of the fragile equipment was damaged. Thank goodness for small favors.

The blue-haired Whispered watched as the duo left. Before Melissa descended down the flight of stairs, she turned to Kaname and gave her a _take-care-of-Sousuke_ look. Kaname, fully aware of it's meaning, nodded in assent and bowed deeply.

Sousuke was a civilian now, and that means no more otaku stunts.

_'This is going to be fun…'_


	5. Ch 5

**Cul-De-Sac**

It was midnight and Sousuke had not even considered the idea of sleep. How could he? He was discharged from Mithril. To him, his life was practically over. He wasn't even given a sidearm in the event that it would come handy. Sure, the threat of the Whispered was nearly neutralized and Gauron's death had been confirmed, but Sousuke couldn't help but feel vulnerable to an attack without his hardware. Suddenly he recalled the conversation he'd had with his teammates before they left.

_Melissa placed a hand on Sousuke's arm. He had not taken the news of his suspension well at all. She knew that Sousuke had no other skills than warfare, and it hurt her as much as it did him that he was torn from his lifestyle. "I'm sorry, Sousuke. I tried to talk Tessa out of it, but it was out of her hands."_

_Kurtz's face held a sober expression, but the bottle of Heiniken proved otherwise. "We tried everything. Old Man Kalinin tried as well, but the board would not listen. That idiot Markudas wouldn't listen." He took a great swig and gazed daze-eyed at Sousuke._

_Melissa ignored Kurtz's action, making a mental note to beat the crap out of Kurtz for drinking on the job. She continued optimistically, her approach somewhat of an appeal to Sousuke's willingness to grow mentally. "Look at it this way, Sousuke. It'll be a good experience for you."_

_Smiling, Kurtz placed the empty green glass on the ground. "You lucky dog, you! No more orders to follow. No limit as to how much booze you can down. I wish I was in your place, Sousuke old boy." He continued to stare into nothingness as if it were all just a dream._

"Maybe they're right. It WOULD help me to understand how to act more like the post I was assigned to." Sousuke was referring to his undercover post as a teenager attending Jindai High. In fact, he was certain he would adapt more easily without the presence of his equipment. It seemed to get him in trouble with Kaname more times than he bargained for.

"Then its settled," he stated in finality. There was no one other than himself in his apartment, but he wasn't aware of that. "Yes…perhaps it is time for a change. Kaname is constantly coercing me into trying new things."

Making up his mind, Sousuke took his place in his cot and drifted off into a trouble-free slumber.

In the following morning, Sousuke decided to visit the multiplex. Since he was going to change his lifestyle, he had to have the wardrobe of a normal teenager. Besides, not many teenage boys wears camouflage every single day. After picking out an outfit that seemed adequately normal, he went to wait in line to pay for it. When it was his turn, he placed his clothes onto the countertop.

"Hi. How's your day been?" asked the young woman working the register. Sousuke smiled, returning the greeting. Suddenly, he remembered a quote Kurtz had recited to him, saying that it was bound to capture the heart of any girl. After Kurtz had said that, he started winking in exuberance. Sousuke had thought his teammate was in need of an eye-disinfectant and immediately rushed him to the medical ward on the De Daanan. But now that the opportunity was right in front of him, he felt somewhat responsible to carry out Weber's bidding.

"Horrible," Sousuke responded, his face contorted in an attempt to earn the woman's sympathy. "Me and my girlfriend broke up today."

"Oh no!" The woman covered her mouth with one hand, her chest with her other. "Why?"

"I'm not sure, it was kind of like a blur. All I know is that I gave her everything... I gave her what she wanted... but still, she throws me off the curve like a usless rodent. I need her, I really love her." Sousuke paused, just like Kurtz had demonstrated, before continuing. "I don't understand, she likes **him** and not me. I ignored what people say about her, and take good care of our relationship we had for so long, but she throws it away … are women really like this?" He sniffed, looking away and pretending to wipe a tear away. Kurtz had been VERY specific about this aspect of the trick.

Sousuke buried his face in his hands, waiting for a response. He parted his fingers to take a peek only to see the woman standing there. Of course it didn't work, when does any of Kurtz Weber's advice do any good? Giving up, Sousuke retrieved the merchandise and started for the exit, only to be stopped by the employee he had told his story to.

"You seem like a very nice guy," she started, a small smile on her face. She had a folded piece of paper in her hand and gently placed it in Sousuke's palm. "I'd love to help you get past your past relationship. Call me anytime, okay?"

Sousuke stood dumbfounded when the woman stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek.

Did he just hit on a girl?

* * *

Kaname was deeply sedated in the comfort her bed provided when her intercom came to life. Slowly and not to forget grudgingly, she sat upright in her comfy bed and stared daggers at the small intercom near her door. "What kind of person, no, IDIOT, has the NERVE to disrupt my beauty sleep?"

"Kaname, it is I." Sousuke's voice came from the intercom.

Speak of the Devil…

After buzzing the otaku in, Kaname went into the bathroom to freshen up. She was halfway through brushing her teeth when her doorbell rang. She ignored it and commenced her task. It wasn't until the fifth time that she finally gave up and walked toward the door, toothbrush, toothpaste, and all.

"Sousuke, don't you know better than to disrupt a –" She stopped in mid sentence when he abruptly walked past her and plopped down onto her sofa. Still ogling, Kaname walked back to the bathroom to finish brushing her teeth. The toothpaste made it look like she was foaming at the mouth. When she returned, Sousuke was lazily looking her up and down. Kaname couldn't believe her eyes. Was he checking her out?

"Good morning, Kaname," he said smoothly, his attention drawn at the kitchen. Suddenly he felt very hungry. "Would you mind if I make some breakfast here? I haven't had much for dinner last night, and I completely blew off breakfast this morning." After his excursion at the multiplex, he had gone back into his apartment to review several surveillance vids of Sgt. Weber. His actions were, to say the least, peculiar in Sousuke's opinion. But he was willing to do whatever's required in order to achieve his goal.

"No, I don't mind. I was just about to make something to eat. Umm, just stay put and I'll make us something to eat."

"Great! I'll make some tea," Sousuke offered, wearing a smile that seemed to trigger the young Whispered's blood circulation. Kaname blushed when he walked past her and accidentally brushed his hand on her derriere. She wanted to call him a perverted otaku, but it would be wrong of her to. After all, she HAD bought that skimpy white bikini to get his attention, and calling him an otaku would be unjust since he had done nothing the Sousukeshe knew would do.

"Sousuke…"

"Yes?"

"Something's different about you…"

"Oh? Yes, I bought some new threads at the mall this morning."

Kaname frowned. 'Clothes? Mall?' Those were two words Sousuke would never be caught saying together.

"Yes, I've noticed your new outfit. It looks nice on you, Sousuke."

Sousuke smiled warmly on her comment, causing Kaname to blush. He was about to comment on her appearance just when Chidori the Cat walked in and gave a welcoming "meow" to her owner. Instead, Sousuke turned his attention away from Kaname and busied himself with his cat, giving Kaname the time to take big breaths to calm herself down.

'It's Sousuke for crying out loud!' screamed her conscience. 'You must be getting soft if this trouble-prone otaku's getting to you, girl.'

"Shut it!" Kaname gasped, covering her mouth when she realized she had said it aloud. But the damage was done.

"Hmm? Kaname, do you need my assistance?"

"Yes, yes that's it. Can you close my sliding door? It's getting to be quite breezy."

She smiled evilly.

"Actually, leave it. You wouldn't want to miss anything good if a strong draft comes into the room, do you?"

She struck a provocative pose just for emphasis.

"Of course no, Kaname," he responded suavely. His eyes were once again transfixed on the girl's body.

Kaname was nonplussed yet again.

"YOU HENTAI!!"

She had expected the routine "Uhh…" she was so used to getting from Sousuke when she broached on a subject he had no previous knowledge about. "Hmmpphh!!" She turned indignantly away to get dressed into her outside clothes but her dramatic exit was compromised when she tripped on the steps that led from the kitchen to the living room.

In a swift maneuver, Sousuke hopped over the couch and expertly caught her before she hit the ground, saving her a great deal of embarrassment.

"Are you all right, Kaname?"

Sousuke was not aware that his hands were dangerously close to her chest. To put into words Sousuke could understand, the 'restricted area'. The new Sousuke thought nothing of it. It was, after all, part of his "education".

Kaname was all too aware of how close she and Sousuke were. Yet there was something about him that she had desired for so long, something normal yet nearly unachievable by the likes of Sousuke. He was NORMAL. Before she could muse further, something hard was starting to form on her back.

_'But what could…' _She froze in her thought.

"Is something the matter?"

'Grr…that damn otaku is getting on my nerves!!'

"Uhh…no, nothing. Help me up." Kaname pulled at his sleeve as he held out his arm to support her. A note of paper consequently slipped from his sleeve. She knelt down to retrieve the small piece of paper and gave him a quizzical look. It was a post-it from a clothing store in the mall. She felt her heart skip a beat when she unfolded the slip of paper and silently read its contents.

Sousuke stiffened when he noticed the hardened look on Kaname's face, knowing all too well what was formulating in that mind of hers. He had seen that look on Sgt. Major Mao's face countless times whenever a certain blonde Sergeant entertained the Special Response Team with his past escapades, which included the opposite genders mores times than none.

"Sousuke, what is this?" It was not a question he was ready to answer.

"Uhh……" He backed into the wall, the advancing Kaname looked more formidable after each step.

His current predicament reminded him of a mission he had dubbed the "cul-de-sac". The SRT received a distress call from a friendly located near North Korea. Mithril had no jurisdiction there and therefore was considered an enemy by the North Koreans. And as it turned out, the distress call was made by a North Korean military official. He, Mao, and Weber went into unordered territory on a false assumption. Metaphorically,they drove onto a street that provided no exit.

In any sense, it was the end of the line for Sousuke.

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I promise to make it up to you, the readers, by completing this story by the end of this month. Please review.


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